Wednesday, January 29, 2020

It's Still January...

I know I'm not the only one who has felt like January has been approximately 3595794867 days long. Bad things happened, then really really really bad things happened, then my friends stepped in, and then I was even sadder, and now I'm just normal sad. And still alive.


What I have learned is that you are allowed to be really fucking sad and hurt, have your life destroyed, miss the shit out of someone while simultaneously also looking great, running well and doing activities. Being happy and OK does not have to be synonymous with those things. Which is great because SURPRISE THIS IS WHO I AM NOW. And I'll be lucky if it ever goes away. 

Also, I don't wish this shit on anyone (nope, as much as I'm not a fan, not even YOU. But know how lucky you are and cherish it.). No one deserves this. 

So with that being said, what are some things I'm unhappily doing?

I'm writing a book! I've always loved my blog name and wanted to do more with it. So here we are. It's personal. It's funny. It's sassy. It's short. It will be self-published. I'm working with a cool artist on the cover. 

Running a beach race with some pretty hefty goals for someone who doesn't regularly run on the beach. Nothing could possibly go wrong during a 10K that starts at 6:37 AM. 

Attending a Y7 headstand and crow workshop! A few years ago I was really close to my headstand but need some extra guidance while practicing. I'm looking forward to getting some pointers on how to hold crow longer too. 

I'm really, really lucky to have friends who are willing to continue to do whatever it takes to help. Runners are a different breed of people and I'm proud to be part of that crew. I know my life and myself will never be the same, and even though I always wish none of this happened, I can't change that it did (despite all my efforts). One person holds the key to the door with all of the answers (it's clearly not me or else I wouldn't be writing this post, duh). 

So temporary distractions like running, yoga, writing, and friends sandwiched between the sadness will have to suffice for now.