Monday, February 3, 2020

To Whoever Needs To Hear This

Dear Other Girls Who Constantly Hear "But You're So Strong,"

Fuck yes, you were. You pulled yourself out of many a situation that was heartbreaking, hurtful, and unkind. You survived, you thrived and everyone watched with awe as you did so. 

You've always been so strong, they say, we never worried about whether or not you'd get through it. It was never a question! We admire your strength, it's so amazing to see how well you carry yourself. 

We've all heard that, as we're left to go about things on our own because we're the strong friend. 

Until we're not. Until we are traumatized, destroyed and in a dark place we've never seen or recognize.

But even then, it's you're so strong and you carry it so well, you totally got this girl. 

And sometimes, even the strongest girls don't. Even the girls who have reputations of taking shit from no one can choose to try to end it all on a cool January evening exactly one month ago. 

Sometimes, we don't come out on the other side. Sometimes the trauma is so horrific, that we are stuck, not strong. 

It's easy to dwell on how amazing and strong you were before whatever happened to you happened. How could you let whatever it was happen? This wasn't me. 

Sometimes you don't even realize. 

And most of all, you're amazing friends don't even begin to comprehend how bad your pain is. 


Because you're the strong friend who can power through anything.

Whoever needs to hear this, it's OK to not be the strong friend sometimes. It's OK if your trauma and pain is too much and you need to let your friends try to put you back together. Whether successful or not. You don't always have to wear that smile or pretend you're OK. But you know you will try.

Sometimes even the girl who takes shit from no one is also the girl hysterical on the kitchen floor. 

And that is a-OK. 


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